Where is the silence? Where is the peace? Quietness and time are tedious. I died somewhere, I died when I became aware of the living. I observed them with a keen eye, I was merging with their melody to get by the day. I was pretentious and sleazy! I was never truly happy by those I most longed for. I would push my way in through the strong crowed, to find myself tossed around like a dead pooch and out again. I speak with the past tense, for I no longer have faith in tomorrow, tomorrow tomorrow tomorrow! Tomorrow was today, it was yesterday, so was the day before yesterday and the day before that! We resign at the sentence of “come what may” with the heart filled fear that what may come is against our satisfaction. It comes, it hurts, we remember it, we never forgive it, amnesty is oblivion. And now, at this very breath I am inhaling, I am loosing contact with the souls. There’s flesh, a lot of it, yet no connection. Illusions, ungrateful illusions. Neurotic imaginations, mirror conversations and a whole play where I star all roles. I feel that ghost, I see it, I laugh with it, I hear its sarcasm, I saw it die once, I had it in my arm, my dead ghost! Vanished and I wept. Real tears for artificial existence. Could I be so lonely that I have imaginary friends in the midst of my adolescence? Untamed and unsatisfied and I am creating insanity. The spiritual connections, I am blocking them out, my pretentious skills have evaporated. My unwelcoming face drives those pathetic companions away. I am unconsciously retrieving where I will be lost and damned. For I, Fevee, damned myself and cursed my life, unaware, with eternal detachment.